Tickets, please.

Have you ever seen the movie "The Polar Express"?

I've seen this movie about a dozen times this month (thank you, lovely children)...but the Lord spoke to me tonight while I was watching this classic with my girls. In the movie every child gets a golden ticket. Each ticket is punched with different letters/words (depending on the child). There are four main tickets in this movie based on four main characters and their personalities. The words are: LEARN, RELY ON, LEAD, and, BELIEVE.

And this is what jumped out at me..."What word would God punch on my ticket?"

I feel like I have changed so drastically this year. My life has changed. Backing up (a lot), I remember telling my husband that my New Year's resolution was going to be to "commit". This is because I have this second nature to just kind of flake at the last minute. I do not do it on purpose...I'm still trying to work on why I do it in the first place. I'm trying. But, I would make plans, like to a T, and then for some reason I would just not go, or not do what I had planned. And I decided January 2013 I wasn't going to do that anymore. (And the one word thing really helps out, if you were wondering.) I really held/hold myself accountable...
But, God was doing more with that word than I thought.

This year I took on more in my church than I ever have before. I stepped out of my shell and volunteered in the children's nursery. Soon after, I became the lead volunteer in nursery. This is something I would never have pictured myself doing.
You see, I grew up as a dorky kid who loved the 80's before it was cool. I wore leggings and windbreakers...before they came back in style. I had round glasses and super chubby cheeks. Basically, I was a pretty big target. Hard to miss. I was picked on for as long as I can remember. In fifth grade I would go home in tears pretty much every day. I've been that kid that sat completely alone at lunch...for an entire semester in High School. Needless to say, I steered clear of anything that put attention on me. I didn't do team captains or a lot of group activities. I even missed a lot of school because of it. (BARE WITH ME...THIS IS ALL GOING SOMEWHERE)...

Anyway...When the mention of being a "leader" came up my first instinct was to sprint for the door. But my word popped into my head immediately. Commit. I was volunteering in an area that I loved to be and I was asked to go further with that. It was terrifying, but I agreed and I prayed. 
I'm not saying this changed me over night...and I'm definitely not saying I am the perfect leader. But I see more potential in myself and more of God's path for me since I've accepted this role. 

I've done a lot of things this year. I've opened my heart up to hear the Lord. And tonight, I watched the conductor punch those words into those tickets. And he took hero girl's ticket and punched LEAD into it and the Holy Spirit told me: "That's your ticket."

I immediately tried to fit every other ticket into my life right now. I thought about how anything else could apply to me...and it could. But that isn't what I was told. I sat there and thought about hero girl's role in the movie. She put others before herself, she made decisions based on the well being of everyone around her. She was incredibly smart and quick to come up with solutions. She naturally fell into a leadership role. But, when she was second-guessed, she immediately began filling her head with doubt. How often do you find yourself in those shoes? For me, it's a lot. So...I could see how I related to this girl and her ticket and why it was brought up to me in the first place...
I don't think this is a prophecy of me becoming the next President of the United States, or anything remotely close to that. Confidence is something I'm always going to have to work on. Putting myself out there has always been a last resort for me. But, I think this was a way God was trying to tell me that I am pointed in the right direction. That I do not need to be the self-doubter. That maybe "lead" is my 2014 word.

So, my question to you is...what's punched on your ticket?